Thoughts From Amanda: What Your Response To That Slap Says About You

*sigh* What a week!

You know, I think a lot of people share my sentiments when they say, this has been an emotionally draining last few days since the Oscars slap-gate fiasco. And I was trying to figure out why that is.

Like okay, it's Hollywood, it's weird shit. Weird shit happens in Hollywood all the time. Why does this one feel so personal somehow? I mean I do know Chris Rock. I don't know Will Smith. But I think it feels this way because these are folks that have been in so many of our lives, whether it's just with their actual work or even literally, for so long. Folks that we all have some level of awareness or interest in not only their work but also in their wellness.

And in all of the discussions and conversations that have come out of this, for me, the one grounding bottom line is that so many of us are broken in ways that we are not even aware of and that is shown in our response to this.

In some cases I feel like it's shown by the folks who said, "well, he was just standing up for his woman." And those folks feel that violence is the best version of defense.

It shows in the ways that some of us are like, "Well she shouldn't be bothered by that joke, you know because it wasn't a big deal." And I can definitely say that I have my certain opinions about whether certain jokes are big deals or not. But the truth is, if someone is bothered by a joke, they get to be bothered by a joke. And we don't get to determine how people feel about certain things and that's something we have to identify in ourselves, if we feel like we are doing that.

I also feel like we demonstrated some brokenness in the way that many of us have failed to give Chris Rock any grace and have really allowed for him to be dragged under the bus by so many folks.

Overall though, I think what we really have to do is put ourselves in a space of responsibility about understanding that celebs are people. And people have real shit going on, and real feelings and exist in a real world. And I know for a lot of us, Hollywood looks like it's so far away and inaccessible. And I say that because even though I started out in TV when I was very young, I was in Orlando. This upper echelon space of icons just rubbing shoulders with you, that seemed like it was something very far away.

So to now being apart of it, I've also come to understand that regardless, of how inaccessible or how elite it may look, it is made up of folks who are made of blood and bone. And when it comes to that, we always have to come back to humanity and the reality that 1. shit happens. 2. there are consequences for shit happening and 3. we all are responsible for our choices. and we all have to make the choice to truly explore the ways in which we can heal, so we don't continue to break ourselves and our community any further.

-AS